Recently I spent several hours working on my other blog, setting up a new theme, performing maintenance, etc. While working on it I thought again about why I set it up in the first place. My life had become fractured into pieces that instead of being healed over time, had to be constantly cared for. Some pieces that had been connected for years had been ripped out and could never touch each other again. Massaging the razor-sharp edges of those shards was a full-time job, a deep contrast to my usual reaction of stitching the pieces back together. I had to turn my focus away from my old, comfortable self and figure out what to do with my new self. There was so much pain in my life, I knew that to survive I had to focus on God and the joy He would restore to me. That was the purpose for setting up a second blog, Some Day A Diamond. I had to turn upward and inward, finding the joy of just being me and leaving the rest behind.
Not much has changed in my circumstances, but I have changed. I would have laid down my life for my family. Funny. Now that I think about it, I guess I did. Anyway, after months of shifting my focus, I wondered if it was time to pull the plug on the new blog. The question was answered in short order when I accidentally deleted the database of Some Day A Diamond. I am not happy that I lost that data, but it feels good to be “home” again. I’m back, and I’m better than ok.
When anything breaks, some pieces are too shattered and have to be discarded. God is helping me make new, beautiful pieces to replace the shredded pieces in my life quilt. I still have a few issues to grieve over, things that I haven’t let go of yet—mostly things that God impressed on me to do at a certain time that I didn’t, lost opportunities. Things like getting professionally done photos of DH and me with our entire family, with all our grandchildren. But, I have let go of the rest. Even my memories no longer weigh me down. The sad part is that the pure emotions that were connected to them are gone. Now they are just memories. Without the strong emotional bonds that kept them alive, they aren’t special any more and are already fading.
I have tried at various times to master the art of making pie crust and have some pretty funny stories to tell. With great effort I can produce a mostly satisfactory crust, but it is never truly good. Never flaky enough, tender enough, beautiful enough.
Only the Master Pie Baker and I know how cracked my crust is underneath, with holes that leak like a sieve. I never dreamed that it would break. The damaged crust can be patched but is never as strong, as cohesive, as beautiful as when perfectly rolled. But oh, how wonderful the filling is! The Master Pie Baker creates my filling, my joy, using only the best ingredients. The Master holds my hidden, weak crust, sealing all the cracks. His hands are big enough, strong enough to perfectly support the weight and intensity of the highest-quality ingredients He has blended especially for me. My custom-designed filling is packed with wonderful fragrance, joy, and peace. The Lord, My God, supplies all my needs. Any additional blessings He gives me are the mile-high meringue on top. This is the continuing story of my life—bits and pieces, cracked crust, held together by the Master Designer. Believe me, I WILL live happily ever after!
Psalm 23
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
